4 steps to freedom from attachment to a problem: (1) Face it, (2) accept it, (3) deal with it, (4)let it go.

Photo by Kristina V on Unsplash

 

When we face a problem or a serious challenge or something we really wished wasn’t there, or wished hadn’t shown up, we go nuts because we can’t stand it and we either feel guilty (telling ourselves we have done something BAD), or we want to find out who is to blame or we deny the problem. We can’t handle it.

 

All are unhealthy responses because it makes us suffer more and does not effectively resolve the issue.   

 

The reason we do that is because we are attached only to “good outcomes”, and we only want good outcomes, and when the outcome is not so good we freak out and “lose the plot”.

 

There is one healthy way to respond to any problem :

 

The 4 step problem process:

 

1. Face it
2. Accept it
3. Deal with it
4. Let it go

 

This way, we don’t spend any time and energy being guilty (“I am a bad person”), or looking for someone to blame (“You are a bad person”), or in denial (“there is no problem”), but to choose to decide what to do next.

 

Once we have processed it using the four steps, we are not carrying the problem. We let it go after we have dealt with it. Dealing with it doesn’t mean solving it, because sometimes problems cannot be solved. But we can let it go after dealing with it, even if “dealing with it” means deciding to do nothing about it.

 

We are liberated from it, whatever most appropriate way to deal with the problem. Whether we manage to solve the problem or not.  Sometimes doing nothing is the only way to deal with it.

 

Once we have completed the first 3 steps, the most important step is to “let it go”. We give ourselves the permission to set ourselves free from the problem again.