There is a beautiful light at the end of the dark tunnel called “worrying”!
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
It’s a dark tunnel. It can be long but we can certainly make it a shorter tunnel and even get out of it sooner. We can get out of it immediately, if we begin to understand the mechanics of “worry”. Just like the correct engineering mechanics of building a bridge, it works.
Worrying is being anxious about a potential and imagined negative result or event (experiencing failure in advance).
It’s entirely possible to face worry, accept worry, deal with worry and let go of worry. Like everything else.
Let’s face it. Worry is about the future. We worry when we are no longer dwelling in the solid present moment and have ran into the unknown future.
We don’t worry about something in the present moment. That’s because we are already in the present and we are actually experiencing the present. Whatever is in the present moment is already here, it too late to worry about it. We can only deal with it.
If we are feeling cold in the present, we don’t “worry” about it anymore. Instead we need to take action or figure out what action we can take.
If we know for sure that it’s going to be cold tomorrow, we can take action now or decide what to do.
The future hasn’t actually come yet. And that’s why our mind, which is a junky for all the negative stuff, gets to make up and amplify all the negative stories it can come up with and convince us that it’s the solid truth, and that it’s the end of everything, and that we are going to get hell.
The problem with our mind is that we are junkies for the negative. We go into the future and grab the potential negative results and hold onto them tightly , and amplify them and worry, worry, worry.
It all boils down to:
(1) Our inability to be aware of the present moment. Living fully in the present, delighting in all the good stuff in the present. If we have $10,000 in the bank, instead of delighting in the good fortune of having $10,000 in the bank (living in the present), many of us worry about lack of money in 2 years time (running to the future) . Worrying about it does not help as it’s simply experiencing future potential failure in advance. What one can do in the present though is to save more money today, or not spend money on something unnecessary today. Or whatever step we can take, NOW.
(2) Our inability to silence our inner chatter. We are having a non stop conversation with ourselves about the future lack of money. And this story creates the delusion that it is a solid reality. Hey, folks, discard the inner chatter!
(3) Our inability to filter out our thoughts and perceptions which are toxic. Worrying is basically made up of toxic thoughts. Change the thoughts and change your mental state.
Once we realise that we are just making up all the “data” for worrying, and that the stories we tell ourselves are not “cast in stone”, that we have the power to change the stories, it gives us a lot of hope because it tells us that we can change our thoughts. We can create some better thoughts to discard all our worries.
Most people probably think that worrying is normal and that it would be absurd not to have any worries.
It’s a bit like someone who has never seen any tower other than the Pisa Tower in Italy. He would “reasonably” assume that all towers are leaning towers and that towers can’t be straight. He would think it’s absurd to have a straight tower which does not lean like the leaning tower of Pisa.
In fact, it is not only possible to build a straight tower, but it’s actually easier to build a straight tower than a leaning one.
Once we do the hard work of understanding the mechanics of “worrying” and how it is made up, we have a better chance of:
(1) Starting to reduce it’s power and hold on us by using some relaxation or other techniques after the worry has already be created.
(2) Starting to face the causes of the mental state of worry and change the thoughts.
The tools to reduce and eliminate worry are all to do with the mind. And if we know we can handle them, we can see the beautiful light at the end of the dark tunnel.
I am curious, would you be able to be open to the possibility of less worrying, less anxiety, less neurosis, and more peace of mind, more hope, more visualising positive results, more delight in the present moment………………..and get the tools to achieve it?