Decide in advance to do the right thing, and live with fewer regrets!

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

When we are in the heat of the moment, we very often make bad decisions.  

 

Like when we are hot, tired and in the middle of a crowd, and a hungry beggar comes to ask for money, we might start the cynical inner speech and find a “reason” for not giving to someone in need.   Or when we are so angry we don’t know how to deal with the anger and the angry energy hits outwards, hurting someone else either physically or mentally.

 

This kind of decision is best done in advance.  And sometimes a simple or “simplistic” decision is most effective. It’s like a vow.  Vows are very powerful. Many traditions use vows to guide our behaviours. For people who like to be “rational”, it sounds a bit “extreme” but it is always a kind of “decision in advance”.

 

So it goes like, “I will always give to beggars, anywhere. Period”. Once that decision is made, then everytime a beggar asks us for help, we help. Yes, sure some beggars are legit, and some are fake. But I would rather “err on the side of caution” and be over helpful than under helpful. This means that some beggars who “don’t deserve it” might end up walking away with my money. But at least it also means that someone who is in desperate need will not be without a helping hand.

 

And when we decide what to do when we are so angry we don’t know how to deal with our emotions, then we start looking for the tools, help and guidance on how to be aware of our anger and how to transform it.  This is like deciding in advance to train for life saving well in advance, so that when the life saving emergency suddenly shows up, we have the immediate reaction ready to deploy.

 

Most people who make vows and stick to them are simply enforcing “decisions made in advance”. Like, “I will never eat meat.”. Once that decision has been made in advance, when one is faced with the hard choice, there is no decision to be made in the heat of the moment, as it has already been made and the heart and the mind knows exactly what to do.

 

I am curious, for ordinary non monastics like us, what if we sit down with pen and paper and make as many hard decisions to do the right thing in advance, would we have fewer regrets of not doing the right thing in future?